Too beautiful for me
by ShanMah
Summary: [ONESHOT] Cedric thinks about Fleur before he dies.


**Disclaimer:** I do not own the characters and the story (and that makes me feel very sad). Only the fanfiction itself is mine.

**Rating:** M, for safety (as I use to do).

**Advice: **By reading this, you should listen to "Sacrifice (from 'The Gift')", the music that we can hear at the end of the 5th season of BTVS, when we see Buffy dying as we hear her talking to Dawn… (one of my favourite scenes… anyway).

**Warning: **To the people who would like to tell me that nothing in the book or the movie shows that Cedric could feel something for Fleur as she seems to do: don't read it. You're warned !

**Pairing: **(quite obvious with what I just said) Fleur/Cedric.

**Category:** Romance/Drama

**But where does it come from:** Well, it comes from my great and wonderful imagination, of course. Er, I know, I'm sooooo modest. Lol. Actually, it comes from the fact that there's some fanfiction about Cedric and Fleur's love, but they all seem to be from Fleur's POV. This one is from, guest what ? From Cedric's POV !

**NB:** This isn't a translation, but people who read "The dead of a Champion" (which _was_ a translation) know that English isn't my first language, but my second (my first is French). So, if you see some mistakes in that text, please, tell me, and I will correct them ! ;)

**Summary:** Takes part when Wormtail comes with Voldemort to do the ritual to give back to the Dark Lord his powers. Voldemort asks to Wormtail to kill Cedric… and what does Cedric think at this moment ? When he knows that he's going to die very soon… who's he thinking about ? His true love…

**EDIT (30th november 2006): **I modified the awkward sentence as Claire suggested in her review – thanks a lot to her !!

**Too beautiful for me**

That's what I thought the first time I saw you, dancing gracefully in the Great Hall, and bowing with that young girl that seemed to be you little sister. You were too beautiful for me. Too delicate, probably too intelligent, too cold, and surely… too beautiful.

I mean, I know I'm good-looking. I don't want to be pretentious, but I know that a lot of girls fancy me. They can fancy me if they want. I don't care. I don't love them. I don't mean that I hate them, and I don't mean that they're stupid or ugly, no. They're not. But when I compare them to you, they are. Perhaps because you seem so perfect. Too perfect for me.

I think everybody waits for someone. We can have as much girlfriends as we want, and still be waiting for someone. And when you see this person that you've been waiting for, everything stops existing.

When I saw you… everything stopped.

I stopped breathing. My eyes couldn't leave you, which was quite embarrassing for me. I'm sure my heart missed a beat when you smiled. Maybe more than one beat. And then, I knew. I didn't know your name; I didn't know who you were at all. I only knew that you were from Beauxbatons. I think no one can understand it without living it. Honestly, I didn't understand myself. I just knew. I knew that you were that person that I've been waiting for.

How could I fall in love with a girl only by seeing her ? I never knew what happened that night. And I'll never know. It just did. Oh, Merlin. I hoped… I just hoped that I was the one you've been waiting for.

But how could I just talk to you ? You were too beautiful for me. And you seemed so cold, each time I saw you. Perhaps you were not. Perhaps I was mistaken. But I just couldn't come to you and _talk_. Besides, I was sure you had a boyfriend in France. A girl like you… you couldn't be single.

It's stupid. I was courageous enough to put my name in that bloody Goblet of Fire, but I'm not able to talk to you. That's totally ridiculous.

After, we were all in the Great Hall. Everybody was waiting for the Champion's selection. It would be funny to be selected… you and me. The name of the Beauxbatons' Champion rose of the Goblet of Fire. And then, I learned your name. _Fleur Delacour_. That name was a real caress to my ears. It sounded beautiful, sweet. Just like you.

It was time. Dumbledore was going to say the name of the Hogwarts' Champion. I didn't really wanted to be a Champion when I put my name in that cup, but now that you were the Beauxbatons Champion, I wanted to be Hogwarts' Champion. I wanted it more than anything else.

Dumbledore told us that we have to truly want to enter in the Tournament if we wanted the Goblet of Fire to choose our name. Right. I didn't really want it when I did put my name, but now, I wanted it so much. Did that bloody cup know how I wanted to be selected right now ?

He said my name. Everybody cheered. And I smiled. And I was not happy because I was going to face dangers in a mortal Tournament. I was happy because it'd be a good reason to be near of you. 24 hours and I was already addicted to you…

I entered in the room where Krum and you already were. He seemed like he didn't notice me. Never mind. But _you_…

You were walking in the room, with that elegance and that grace that are always yours. And you stopped as I entered. And you looked at me. I had never noticed your eyes before. I should have done so, because you have two magnificent deep blue eyes. Two little oceans in which I would drown myself without hesitation.

You came to me. And you smiled. I think I could kill someone just to see that smile again. Then, you shook my hand. Probably it was only because you wanted to be fair-play, polite, but I didn't care. And you began to talk with me. A very normal conversation.

So I was wrong. You weren't that cold. At this moment, Potter entered. And everything went so fast: Verpey, Dumbledore, Karkaroff, they were all in that room and they were having a big argument. Not Krum, nor I dared to talk. From what I understood, Harry had just been chose for the Triwizard Tournament. I just could not say a word. But _you_ did protest.

And I admired you so much for doing it… because, even if only Madame Maxime seemed to support you, you _dared_. You didn't like the situation, and you let everyone know so. I should have protested, since I was the Hogwarts' Champion. I didn't dare, even if I was much more concerned than you. I suppose I wasn't strong enough. But you _were_.

Then, the First Task. How horrible it was to see you in the tent, so terrorised, but so proud that you tried to hide it. I think I was more afraid to see you while you were facing that bloody dragon than when I had to do it myself. But you did it, without injuries ! You took the golden egg. I didn't know what made me happier: taking the egg myself or seeing you doing it.

The _Yule Ball_. I was so stupid. If only you knew how I wanted to go to this ball with you. But, again, I did not dare. I was afraid to ask you, because I was sure that you would have refused. So, I asked Cho Chang. She said yes.

And, few days after, you came to me, and began to talk to me. Just like that. A normal conversation. That's probably the moment in my life where I felt the stupidest. I was just talking to you, and everything seemed so perfect. Maybe because you were there, with me.

I felt very strange, honestly. I felt as if there was nothing else than you… and me. I suppose it was because of your Veela's magic charm. I suppose… I suppose you were using it because you wanted me to go to the ball with you. That's why I felt so stupid. Because I already invited Cho. I wasn't courageous enough to invit _you_.

If I had asked you before… well… perhaps you would not have gone to the Yule Ball with Roger Davies. I know that jealousy is bad, but I have to admit that I was terribly jealous that night. But, honestly, who could expect me to accept the fact that HE was with YOU ?

I saw you dancing with him. I saw him being so impressed by your beauty that he didn't know what you were talking about. How I hated him. He had the chance of being with the most marvellous girl on Earth, but he was too idiot to see how lucky he was. He was too stupid to see the fascinating girl behind the quarter-Veela.

And then, the Second Task arrived. Honestly, I don't know what happened to you in that lake. I think I saw you when I was swimming in the Black Lake. I _think_. I'm not sure. But for what I understood, you had troubles with the Grindylows, so much that you were forced to retire. Bloody creatures.

When I came back with Cho, you seemed so horrified. Perhaps because you had just realised that there were _people_ at the bottom of the lake. Perhaps because you understood _who_ was in the lake, waiting for you to save her. Madame Maxime was holding you in her arms, in order to prevent you to go back in the water.

Of course I knew that Dumbledore would never have let the prisoners die in the lake, but, obviously, you did not. I wanted to tell you that it wasn't real. I wanted to tell you that your sister would be alright after, even if you didn't save her. Probably you would not have believed me. I think you wouldn't even hear me.

Harry came back, and I saw three heads. One dark, one red, one silver. Harry, Ron and your sister. You screamed and run to your sister to save her. You didn't want Madam Pomfrey to take care of you. You just wanted her to take care of Gabrielle. And, then again, I admired you. Because Gabrielle was more important to your heart than yourself…

After, the Third Task arrived. I wanted to talk to you before entering in the maze, but I didn't have time. Verpey said Harry's name and mine. I looked at you and I entered in the maze. What I didn't know, was that it was the last time that I was seeing you…

I suppose it's you who screamed in the maze. I became really anxious when I heard it. I'm sure it was you. Who else ? I looked at the sky, but I saw nothing. Did you save yourself, or where you too injured to do anything ?

When Krum attacked me, I understood. _He_ attacked _you_. He used the Crucio Curse on me. Did he do the same thing to you ? Did you feel the same pain I felt, Fleur ? I hope you didn't…

Finally, Harry and I took the Triwizard Cup. I was sure it was over. Soon, I would be able to tell you what I wanted to tell you since I saw you for the first time.

But no. It seems like things never go as I want them to. We appeared in a strange place. A cemetery, obviously. I was sure it wasn't normal. I heard a strange voice:

- Kill the spare…

And then I knew. I was going to die. Before being able to tell you that I loved you since the first time I saw you.

And here I stand, with that man that I don't know, who's facing me, his wand ready to cast the terrible spell. And I think about all of this. It comes very fast to my mind. I'm going to die and I can't think about something else than _you_. I don't even know if you're still alive, and that's all I'm hoping at this crucial moment.

Everything goes so fast that I just can't realise. I hear the "Avada Kedavra", and I see this terrible green light of the mortal curse coming to me. I face the death, thinking only about one thing: you'll never know how I love you. And, for me, it's the worst thing in the world. Worse than dying tonight. Worse than anything else.

I can feel the life leaving my body, and I want to scream. Not because it's painful. Because I didn't have the time to tell you that I love you. Maybe if I scream it so loud in my head, you will hear me…

_Je t'aime_…


End file.
